Drabbles Collection
by QueenCheetah
Summary: A series of mindless drabbles based on various YGO pairings- so far the chapters are mainly Tendershipping, but I plan to try and add at least some Bronze and Puppyshipping (possibly even Death or Puzzleshipping later). All fics will be shonen-ai rated K-T.
1. Tickets, Please- Tendershipping

"Ryou."

"Hmm?" The boy had just hung up his jacket when he heard a deep voice coming from his left. His darker half was standing next to him.

And he looked rather tense.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Finally, Bakura's right arm suddenly shot out, revealing two slightly crumpled bits of paper.

"Here." He grunted in a strained voice.

Ryou looked at the two, tawny rectangles and blinked. "Oh, those are- movie tickets? For us?"

The former spirit only gave a curt nod.

The other duelist smiled happily. "Oh, that's great, Bakura! I'm glad you're finally enjoying the modern age! Are Malik and Marik meeting us there?" Ryou gave a very cheerful grin as he looked expectantly at his yami.

The thief visibly paled- of all the things to go wrong, this was _not_ something he had anticipated.

"Um, no." He gave a rather rough cough. "These are for us." Uneasily trying to ward off any further misunderstanding, he gave a second cough. " _Only_. _Us_."

Ryou stared in disbelief, and his tone became rather subdued.

"Bakura... I'm sorry, but I really don't want to see 'A Modest Proposal' with you."

The revived Egyptian's gazed lowered slightly, but Ryou immediately went on. "That's supposed to be a _romantic_ film about a philosopher and his wife during hard times- I'd rather see something we'd both enjoy." Ryou put a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe something 'horror,' like 'DeathMaker 5?'" He grinned teasingly. "Unless, of course, you've suddenly grown fond of sweetheart stories?" The pale teen wrinkled his nose in misgiving. "I mean, did you really _want_ to see a romantic comedy?"

The ancient Egyptian snorted. "Hell no! I'd rather watch paint dry than see this crap!" He held out the two tickets with a revolted look. "But those two dumb tomb keepers _insisted_ that I had to ask you out with a  romantic show first!"

The shorter duelist sighed. "These wouldn't happen to be the same two tomb keepers who thought they could mow the front lawn with some rope, a cow, thirty-two coat-hangers, and a squirrel?"

"...fair point." Bakura eagerly tore up the tickets and turned to his hikari. "So, are you ready?"

Ryou grinned and pointed to the shredded pieces of paper lying on the floor. "Of course- but you _do_ realize you could have exchanged those for a different show?"

"...sh*t."

The smaller duelist laughed. "Don't worry, tonight's on me- but you can grab the refreshments- deal?"

The former spirit gave a rather sly smirk. "I can grab the refreshments? Hmm, sure- that should work out just fine."

The white-haired hikari frowned as the thief turned around. "I mean, _BUY_ the refreshments- as in, _**pay**_ for them! Bakura! _B_ _akura_ _!_ "

Bakura just cackled as he ran to grab his trench coat.


	2. ID in the Club- Tendershipping

"So, I saw you looking at me earlier-"

"I'm gay."

"Oh." The blonde girl frowned, her heavy eyeliner smearing as she pouted. "Whatever." She stepped away hastily, her too-high heels clacking irritatingly against the nightclub floor.

"Tch." The white-haired man turned back to his rum-and-coke. He was tired of all the over-done sluts pestering him for a dance.

Bakura Touzokou wasn't really one for the nightclub scene. He normally preferred to stay home and stream overly-graphic horror-films on his 60" LCD-TV.

There was a loud cackle from the metal bar-stool just to his left. Bakura spared an annoyed glance at the Egyptian couple he'd arrived with.

Yes, Bakura Touzokou was decidedly an introvert; however, his two 'best friends' were rather experienced partiers. And, for some deranged reason; sometimes the dark-skinned duo would drag him along on their Friday night 'excursions.'

He cast another resentful glance at the two blondes as they laughed and talked about some famous actress.

Bakura muttered to himself before taking another swig of his drink. He'd barely placed the glass back down when he heard a rather mild-mannered voice address him.

"Um, excuse me, but I was wondering if-"

"NO." The anti-social punk didn't even glance at the other young man.

"Erm, I beg your pardon?"

"NO, I'm not interested."

"Oh!" There was a light laugh. "Oh, no; I'm actually just trying to get you to-"

Bakura nearly growled to himself. Guy or girl, he _really_ wasn't interested in exploring the wonderful world of dating right now. Hoping this new idiot would get the hint, the exasperated man refused to turn around. Instead, he curtly replied: "NO to that, either."

"But, I really think that this could be-"

"It's _not_. Now _get._ _LOST_!" Bakura snapped his final retort. He didn't want to hear more sappy lines about how 'this could be destiny' or whatever romantic crap this loser had in mind.

Finally, the other guy got the hint and walked away.

Marik was about to speak up, but Malik covered his beau's mouth with his hand. He subtly whispered something in his lover's ear. Soon both of the blondes were grinning wickedly at their semi-albino friend.

Several minutes later, the young Egyptians had decided it was time to leave. Marik started pulling some fives out of his wallet for the bill. Malik lightly punched Bakura in the arm when he didn't do the same.

"Hey, you're chipping in too, y'know."

Bakura's scruffy hair seemed to stand up in indignation. "You two dragged me here!"

Malik smirked. "So? We didn't make you drink." He pointed to three of the empty glasses.

Grumbling to himself, the pale-skinned grouch reached for his wallet.

...and noticed that his pocket was empty.

"The f***- what the hell?!" But he soon noticed the devious expressions on his friend's faces, and snarled. "Did you half-wits take it?!"

"Take what?" Marik was grinning so widely it was almost disturbing.

The red-eyed man glared murderously. "You know what."

Malik soon joined in, wearing a similarly wicked smirk. "Oh, you mean your wallet?" He pretended to think for a moment before shaking his head. "Hmm... nope! In fact, I can guarantee you 500% that we did _not_ take your wallet."

Marik nodded in irritating symmetry. "We certainly, definitely don't have it."

"Then _where_ the bloody hell _is it?_ " Bakura hissed through his teeth.

Malik placed a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Y'know, it's not everyday you find someone really honest... most folks would keep a wallet if they just found it lying on the floor of a club."

The taller blonde jumped in. "Yes, but if someone _did_ try to return a wallet to a rather grumpy albino- and said albino was very rude and refused to even turn around- then I supposed they would be justified in keeping it, right?"

Bakura's eyes widened in horror. "Wait, you mean that guy..." He began spluttering furiously. "He was... why _the_ _hell_ didn't you stop him?!"

Malik gave a look of false incredulity. "Oh, but you so clearly said that you 'weren't interested' in getting it back; insisted that 'it's not' your wallet; and then told the attractive little Samaritan to 'get lost.' Isn't that right, Marik-honey?"

The taller Egyptian grinned. "Yep- so the nice boy went back to his table, and then he left with his friends."

Bakura's jaw nearly dropped. "My company's key-card is in there! _I could get_ _fired_ _!_ "

Malik shrugged. "Not our problem."

Bakura scowled and quickly assessed the situation. "Today's Friday, so I have to get it back before Monday... sh*t."

"They only left a few minutes ago- maybe you can catch them?" Malik suggested casually while the other blonde put away his own wallet.

But the furious dupe quickly grabbed one of Malik's arms. "Not a chance, jack*sses- you thought it was hilarious not to say anything, so now you're going to help me track them down. Or I'm going to make a new wallet using the skin from your-"  
Malik frowned and shook off Bakura's grip. "Alright, alright! Sheesh, we'll help- jerk."

"I heard that."

"Your point?"

The trio headed outside, the two darker-skinned males strolling casually down the walkway. Only the near-albino had any sense of urgency. His expression was dour, and he deliberately strode past several other pedestrians.

 _'F**_ _*all kinds of luck_ _...'_

There was some cash in his wallet, but the white-haired man knew it was the KaibaCorp key-card inside that was truly irreplaceable.

Security wise, that key-card was the only way for an employee of KaibaCorp (such as Mr. Touzokou) to get into the local office building. Seto Kaiba was not an understanding man, and all of his employees were expected to clock in on time- no exceptions. Bakura _had_ to get that card back before 8:00 AM on Monday morning, or he was screwed.

"Tell that giant of yours to keep an eye out," the angry man growled at Malik. Bakura hated acknowledging the height difference between himself and his friends.

Normally Malik would've made a snarky comment, but he could almost feel Bakura's rage, and remained wisely silent.

Several couples (some in various stages of inebriation) stumbled past. Two dark-red eyes blinked in frustration.

 _'How the bloody hell are we going to find some random thief in this big city?!'_

Thankfully, Lady Luck decided to allow the pale patsy a break. It wasn't long before Marik announced that the group in question was just down the sidewalk ahead of them.

Bakura sped up, leaving the two blondes to jog after him.

It was a small lot of what appeared to be only three figures. The Domino skyline was growing darker and Bakura could only tell that they were all rather short (was that farthest one a child?). The three strangers were walking slowly, and seemed to be enjoying the night air.

The harassed wallet-owner called out brazenly.

" **Hey, you!"**

There was a brief pause, and the lightest-toned person turned around.

Bakura felt his mind go blank.

The boy was like an angel.

The pale-skinned stranger wasn't actually younger than Bakura himself; but just shorter and more slender. His hair was white like Bakura's, only more pure and gentle. It seemed to float like the feathers of a dove (and not the tail of a scruffy arctic fox). His eyes were a vivid, warm chocolate-brown; and not a harsh, blood-dyed crimson. His skin was nearly the same shade as Bakura's, but his manner and figure were far softer.

"Hmm?" The boy turned to stare while the strangers behind him caught up. His doe-brown eyes seemed to sparkle as he spoke. "Oh, you're that man from the club before!"

In his earlier irritation, Bakura had failed to realize just how sweet and sincere that cheerful voice was. The flustered follower struggled to come up with something to say. Something _not_ awkward and impulsive.

"Why do you look like me?!"

 _'...dammit.'_

The boy blinked and tilted his head endearingly. "Um, I don't know-? I was born abroad, if that helps..."

A deeper voice interrupted the two paler men. "Wait, did you say this is the ' _gentleman_ ' you tried to help earlier tonight?" The taller of the spiky-haired pair was glaring at Bakura. "I do believe you owe my friend an apology."

"An apology?! He took my wallet!" The annoyed owner glared.

"NO, Ryou _found_ your wallet and tried to return it to you." The man shook his head, and his multicolored hair flung about wildly. "But, you told him that you weren't interested in it and that he should 'get lost.' What would you have done?" He finished by folded his arms and returning Bakura's glare.

But the wallet-owner ignored the wild-haired dork and turned back to his almost-clone. "I need it back, now!"

Ryou gave him a look of puzzlement before shaking his head. "I'm afraid I don't have it- just when we stepped out, we saw a squad car driving past. Yugi flagged him down and I gave it to the police officer inside. He was very nice, and he promised to take the wallet back to the precinct."

Bakura spluttered in disbelief. "Wha- but- _why_ would you _**do**_ that?! It's _my_ wallet!"

"Well, you said it wasn't yours, remember?" Ryou was starting to sound a little annoyed. "You were very clear that it 'couldn't be' yours. And obviously there are some people who look quite alike-" the white-haired stranger pointed to the other pairs around them, "-so what other reason did you have to say 'no' so many times?"

"I thought you were begging me for a date!" Bakura blurted out loud.

The chocolate-eyed foreigner stared in disbelief. His tone became a little more degrading. "Egotistical, much?" Ryou stared as he looked the man up and down. "Or do you genuinely believe that everyone who starts a conversation with you is just _dying_ to go home with you?"

Bakura could only gape. The switch in attitude was incredible- from warm and helpful, to cooly critical.

Before anyone else could respond, Malik stepped in. "Ha! He really nailed you on the head! Hi, I'm Malik!"

The wallet-relayer blinked in confusion at the sudden interruption. "Um, my name is Ryou."

"I am Yami. Yami Atemu." Here the bold-haired man gave Bakura a fierce stare, as if challenging him to say something.

The shortest member finally spoke up. "And I'm Yugi!"

"Marik. Wow, this is weird- we all look like another person."

Yugi blinked and glanced over the uncanny crowd. "Huh... this _is_ unusual...

"Forget about looks for one second; have you forgotten the real problem here?!" Bakura seemed to have recovered his wits. "How could you think that wasn't my ID?! Did you even _look_ at the picture?!"

The older of the wild-haired pair nodded. "Hmm, he has a point there, Ryou. The person in the ID photo looked like an a*shole, and I'm seeing a very strong resemblance."

One white eyebrow twitched before Bakura growled. "The bloody f*** did you just say?!

The shorter man was about to retort when he was stopped by a gentle tug on his arm. Yugi gave his boyfriend an appealing look.

"Yami, I'm sorry; but do you think you could give us all a few minutes? I know you're trying to be protective, but I really don't think these guys are going to hurt us."

Mr. Atemu gave the strangers a wary glance before answering his partner. "They had better not." The older man scowled, but obediently made his way to the other side of the curb.

Marik ignored the spat and started talking to Ryou. "So, the wallet's at the police station? You gave it to that officer, right?"

Bakura's eyes widened in disbelief. "Are you serious?! The Domino cops are all corrupt as hell! He's just going to pocket the whole thing!"

The two shortest members of the gathering glared at that statement.

"You can't just accuse someone like that!" Ryou looked miffed. "He seemed trustworthy!"

"Oh yeah, 'trustworthy'." Bakura made air-quotes with his hands. "Look, the Domino Police Force is made up of nothing but dimwitted liars. They'll just pocket the cash and throw the rest of my wallet in a dumpster!"

Yugi spoke up again, "We have friends on the force! You can't just assume they're all dishonest!"

Yami, meanwhile, had just finished making a quick phone call. He was headed back to the others when there was a sudden squeal of tires on the pavement. A fairly battered squad car rolled up to the curb. The driver's door flew open and a tall, blonde boy with hickory-toned eyes stepped out of the car. He was wearing the Domino PD uniform and was looking at the impromptu crowd with interest.

"Hey, Yug', Yam', Ryou! What's up? You said you guys needed a favor?"

"Jounouchi!" Yugi's face broke into a wide grin and he ran to hug the newest blonde.

"Hey little bud!" The tall cop laughed as he greeted his oldest friend. "What's up? Yami said that you guys found a wallet?"

Ryou nodded and quickly explained. "Yes, we saw another squad car go past earlier, and I gave it to the driver- he had green eyes and black hair?"

Jou paused for a few moments. "Oh yeah... that's... hang on, I'm thinkin'... ah!" The blonde had his fist to his chin and he appeared to genuinely be in deep thought.

Bakura felt himself sweatdrop. 'The fate of my career is in the hands of a moron who can't even remember his coworker's names?!'

But suddenly the policemen let out a victorious cry. "I got it! That's gotta be Officer Shiro! Yeah, he should still be on shift- ya want me to call him for ya?"

Yugi nodded gratefully. "That'd be wonderful, thank you Jounouchi!"

The blonde stepped back to the car to try and reach his co-worker. Meanwhile, Bakura breathed a sigh of relief. He felt his limbs relaxing, and his mind felt calmer. But he felt his panic returning when he realized that the other white-haired male was walking away.

"Hey!"

Ryou turned and gave him a look of misgiving. "What?"

Bakura felt himself freeze- he hadn't really thought this through. He struggled to come up with some sort of apology, something to voice his gratitude...

"Go out with me!"

'... _dammit!_ _'_

Ryou's eyes widened in confusion, but his face quickly grew serious as he replied with a tight-lipped frown.

"Is that an order, or a request? Because you should know: I am _not_ interested in over-controlling, unapologetic jerks."

Bakura swallowed and looked downwards- he felt like a complete idiot, hoping that this gorgeous guy would just accept his-

"I believe the words you're looking for are: 'I apologize for the trouble, and I am grateful for your assistance. May I ask you out to dinner to repay you?'"

To Bakura's shock, the other guy had a faint flush on his cheeks, and he was smiling rather shyly. Bakura's own eyes widened and he nearly stumbled over his words as he (attempted to) repeat the phrasing.

"Er, I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused- er, may I take you out to dinner sometime?"

Marik was staring, completely slack-jawed, while Malik seemed to be on the verge of fainting.

 _'Is this guy really Bakura?!'_

"That would be nice." Ryou's head dipped in a light bow. "I think I'm free for dinner next Friday-?"

Bakura struggled to pull out his phone. "Erm, did you have a place in mind?"

Two doe-eyes blinked eagerly. "I'm rather fond of Italian- how does Coviello's sound?"

Bakura broke out in a full grin. "Best garlic bread in town. Is 7 o'clock good?"

"Perfect." Ryou quickly started jotting down his number on an old receipt. He handed it to the ecstatic wallet-owner, but paused half-way. "Oh, but I just realized something- perhaps we should hold off on Coviello's and try Pizza Pete's or Lil' Adventurer's Zone instead."

Bakura Touzokou was completely bewildered. "What? But- aren't those places for little kids?"

"Exactly." Ryou smiled as he finally let go of the slip of paper. "After all, you still don't have your wallet back yet- and those places won't need to see your ID." The doe-eyed Samaritan winked before turning to stride after his friends.

Bakura's jaw dropped, and it took Marik and Malik a good five minutes to drag him back to their car before they left.


	3. The Nick of Time- Tendershipping

~*A/N: This fic is based on a real illness that has been documented as affecting real pets and small children in the U.S., as well as a few other countries. Always be cautious when walking through areas with wildlife!*~

Two weeks.

It had only taken two weeks for his lively little hikari to turn into what was essentially a stone.

Two dark-red eyes gazed over the still form that was Ryou Bakura. The thin and pallid teen had never had the best health, but no one had expected him to suddenly fall deathly ill.

Certainly not the former Thief King.

The first problem had been a strange tingling in the bookish youth's extremities. Ryou waved it off as a symptom of studying too much, but Bakura wasn't sure that was the cause. He thought this might be some sort of flu building up. But the headstrong yami didn't want to seem concerned, so kept his comments to himself.

Much like Marik and 'that damned Pharaoh', Bakura had ended up relying on the kindness of his hikari when the three had unexpectedly returned to the mortal realm. But while the other Egyptians had slowly settled into romantic relationships, the tomb robber remained stubbornly entrenched in his solitude. The stubborn thief refused to believe that his growing fondness for his hikari was in any way amorous.

After all, to admit affection for someone meant giving them power over you. And no one was going to hold _anything_ over the darker Bakura.

Still, the former spirit felt his breath hitch when Ryou also mentioned that his vision seemed somewhat blurry. Once again, the naive teen blamed it on the tiredness of a devoted student. And Bakura kept from voicing his fears (in case they were mistaken for softheartedness).

Then, just two days ago, Ryou had started to lose all feeling in his lower limbs. The teen could hardly walk, and his vision had started to double. It was at this point that Bakura began to feel panicked, and he insisted that Ryou visit the local 'healer.' The unnerved hikari agreed, and Malik hastily arranged for Odion to drive them.

During the short trip, Bakura found himself constantly checking on his little light as new, horrifying symptoms began manifesting themselves. First, the slender duelist's jaw went slack, and his breathing became audibly labored. It was clear by this point that something was seriously wrong. Even Odion seemed unnerved, and his face was covered in a fine sheen as he stepped on the gas pedal. Malik acted as a guide, pointing the way to the Domino hospital. The trip only took minutes, but for Ryou it was too long. By the time the youth was lifted onto an ER gurney, he couldn't control his major muscles, and could no long speak fluently.

Less than twenty-four hours later, Ryou Bakura was in his own hospital room, hooked up to more machines than Bakura could count. But there were no nurses bustling about, or interns taking notes. No, they claimed they were letting him rest as 'painlessly as possible.'

'Comfort care.' The doctors had called it.

In other words, 'we don't have a damn clue why he's dying, and we can't stop it.'

The ancient thief snarled under his breath. _'_ _Useless f***ing doctors… if I still had the Millennium Ring I could transfer his soul into another body... dammit!_ _'_

The agitated yami sat on the hard, plastic chair, watching tirelessly as his former host's life was slowly devoured. The unseen contagion was as swift as it was merciless. Ryou's soft, pale skin was now covered in an ugly rash. His heart rate had slowed to a disturbingly low hum, and the boy's father had been contacted regarding, what the doctor delicately termed; 'his inevitable passing.'

Bakura could only wait, staring with blank eyes at bedridden patient.

Ryou had often extolled the virtues of modern medicine, eagerly explaining the numerous advances that had been made since 'the days of the Pharaohs.'

But nothing was being done. In fact, the last time the doctor had stopped in, he'd actually removed the weird tube from Ryou's throat, saying that it would be 'more comfortable' without it.

Bakura's shoulders sagged as the futility struck him. His mind had been wrestling frantically ever since they reached the hospital, yet he still could not think of a solution. Without his Shadow Magic, there was no way for Bakura to stop the unknown foulness that was ravaging his hikari.

The cold, eerie silence of the room was tainted only by the sounds of the soulless machines keeping his former host alive.

But even they were destined to fail.

 _'No... this cannot be the end...'_

His only light was about to be extinguished.

 _'There's nothing I can do... nothing...'_

Suddenly, an old memory floated from the back of the Thief King's mind. A vague image of a small child... and someone reading a story to the child...

 _'Ryou...'_

The tiny boy had a round face and soft features. His doe-brown eyes were wide with delight. Outside the tiny bedroom window hung a waning moon and stars. He could hear an older voice speaking aloud.

 _'I remember this- they called it 'storytime.''_

Back then, the spirit of the Millennium Ring had still been learning the new language of his foreign host, and he listened attentively as the adult spoke.

 _''But then, the prince kissed the sleeping princess on the lips, and she woke up from the curse! And so they lived happily ever after!''_

Yes... he remembered those old fairy tales- the sleeping princess, only saved from death by a kiss from her true love...

His face slightly flushed, the Ancient Egyptian gave his dying host a long glance. The teen's kind face was drawn in an almost painful grimace, and his pure hair was terribly mussed from the ordeal.

 _'What the hell...'_

The former spirit leaned forward, his heart beating madly. The ailing hikari made no movement, even when two fingers lightly traced his cheek. The teen's flesh was already losing its warmth.

"Ryou..."

Bakura gently brushed a stray lock of pale hair behind his hikari's ear. His gaze fell on those two perfectly, velvet-soft lips. _'Forgive me...'_ Two clear droplets glistened from the corners of Bakura's blood-red eyes. The grieving yami was just lowering his face to his light's when something made him pause.

"Eh?"

Bakura frowned- but he thought he felt something... his long fingers grazed past Ryou's neck again.

There! There was something strange on Ryou's skin- a small bump just behind his right ear. The thief felt suspicion building in his throat, and he yelled loudly for one of the nurses.

The caregiver assigned to Ryou's room only took one look at the boy's ear before jumping up in alarm.

"Doctor? _Doctor!_ You need to see this!" The nurse ran down the hall, quickly calling for the specialist.

Once the doctor had been summoned, Bakura waited uneasily for the diagnosis.

"I'll be damned..." The senior physician stared in disbelief. "Tick Toxicosis."

The thief was in no mood for games. "And in Japanese-?"

The doctor was still entranced by the tiny, dark lump. "It's a parasite. A tick, to be precise." He signaled to the nurse and she grabbed a sterile swab. "It could be the cause of his illness. It's very rare, but occasionally children and animals are bitten by a tick with natural toxins. Sometimes, the bacteria in the tick's saliva can cause a person to fall ill- almost into a coma." The doctor swiftly removed the tick and wiped the small wound. "I'll give him an injection of anti-biotics. Combined with this dose-" the doctor carefully administered a shot to Ryou's arm, "-he should be fine, now that it's been removed- we'll know within a few hours." The physician instructed the nurse to send the tick for testing before heading out himself.

Bakura breathed a sigh of relief. It was a faint flicker of hope, but still better than no hope at all.

The next few hours were nothing short of miraculous. Bakura felt his heart race as he saw the color rush back into his hikari's face. The boy's skin began clearing back up almost immediately, and his breathing was noticeably lighter. The pallid yami quickly contacted Malik, and he explained everything to the relieved blonde (who in turn relayed the message to the others). It was only after talking with Yugi, though, that the full story came to light.

Sixteen days earlier, Ryou had been out in the countryside for his Biology class. The students from the course had been studying local plant life in a rural nature reserve. Botany was a favorite subject of Ryou's, and the unlucky teen never suspected that he would attract the attention of a very rare tick. Apparently, the parasite had latched onto the back of his neck, unnoticed. It then stayed in the same spot for days, leeching its bacterial toxins into the unsuspecting host.

But now, three days after the tick's disposal, Ryou Bakura had managed a near-complete recovery. The hospital staff were all amazed by his situation, and he was greeted by a rather large crowd before being discharged.

Not long after the order of release came through, Malik and his insane alter-ego/lover had arrived to help bring the tired teen home. Despite the ordeal, Ryou had very few symptoms leftover. He'd explained that he merely felt 'a little tired;' but Bakura was adamant that his recovering hikari remain unstressed. This left a very bemused Ryou to sit on the hard hospital bed while the other three gathered up his personal effects.

As they packed up Ryou's toiletries, Malik kept repeating the same phrase. "So it was just an _insect_ this whole time?!"

Bakura gritted his teeth in annoyance. For some reason, the youngest Ishtar seemed incapable of accepting that fact.

Ryou, however, was much more patient with the blonde. "Technically, ticks are an arachnid parasite- they're more related to spiders than bugs. But yes, it was just one little tick."

Bakura scowled in revulsion. "I hate parasites... disgusting, loathsome- what?!" He turned to stare at Ryou, who had just started snickering under his breath.

"Oh, it's nothing... Mr. Kettle."

"What do you mean- hey!"

Malik and Marik both let out snorts of laughter while the thief fumed.

"Aaand, I think that should just about do it!" The discharged patient grinned as grabbed his phone and wallet. "Marik, could you please handle that grey bag? Otherwise, I think we're set- I don't think I had much more with me when I came in- except the tick, of course." The hikari gave a more subdued smile as he turned to face his yami. "Thank you, Bakura, again- for finding it. You probably saved my life."

Bakura just snorted in dismissal. "Pfeh. Forget it. Not like I don't owe you for a ton of crap already- consider it 'repayment.'"

"How did you even find that thing, anyway?" Malik gave him a suspicious look.

Without missing a beat, the yami easily retorted. "His hair looked like a rat's nest. If you're going to die, you should at least make a decent corpse, right?"

Neither of the blondes commented, but Ryou had an odd expression on his face. The hikari said nothing, though; and the group made their way to the parking lot and into Odion's beige sedan. The ride back was fairly relaxed, and Ryou thanked everyone repeatedly for their help. Bakura just made a few rough noises, which may or may not have been some form of gratitude.

After unloading everything, the Ishtar's said their farewells and drove off. After waving to the disappearing car, Ryou turned to face his quiet yami.

The teen hesitated for a moment, before voicing his thoughts. "Um, Bakura? Something's been bothering me... how exactly _did_ you find that tick, anyway?"

Bakura intentionally avoided his host's gaze as he answered. "Like I told Malik, you looked like crap; and I figured you'd want to leave a pretty corpse."

The shorter of the two white-haired duelists sighed. "Bakura, our minds were once connected through the ring, remember? I can tell when you're lying- or did you forget? I know how you think, and I know that's not what happened."

The thief felt a flicker of panic run across his mind. He hadn't thought of a second story to give his landlord.

"Bakura?" Ryou's head tilted slightly to the side. Two tawny eyes were looking expectantly at the nervous yami.

For the second time that day, the Thief King found himself throwing all caution to the wind.

 _'What the hell...'_

Two crimson orbs blinked once before locking onto the gentle, hickory-tinted eyes. There was a smooth but swift movement.

Ryou barely had time to register the unexpectedly gentle touch on his neck, before he felt his pale lips being claimed by a much warmer pair. A faint whimper of approval slipped past his tongue, and was quickly quelled as the embraced deepened. The hikari didn't protest when he felt the other's thin arms wrapping around his sides. Ryou shyly tilted his head further, giving his yami more access to his lips. Bakura let out a deep hum of enjoyment before the two finally parted, panting madly.

"Does that answer your question, hikari?" The breathless thief smirked.

The panting hikari could only nod, a look of pleased bewilderment taking over his flushed features. "Y-yes, it does." After gasping a few more times, Ryou spoke up, his face growing redder with each word. "The doctor said it's not likely to happen again, but to be safe... I should always check my entire body after going out in the field."

Bakura snorted at the expectant botany-major. "You couldn't see one right behind your ears- how the hell are you going to check yourself every time?"

The hikari just gave an unusually sly smile. "Oh, it's easy- I just need someone else's help. Would you be interested in volunteering?"

The Thief King only smirked, giving his silent consent through another passionate kiss.


	4. Butter Late than Never- Tendershipping

*STAB!*

"Er, Bakura?"

*STAB!*

" _What._ "

"Is everything going alright?"

"Everything's _fine_."

*STAB!*

"You know that your dinner's already dead, right? You don't need to keep stabbing the beef."

*STAB!*

"Maybe I feel like stabbing it." *STAB!* "Maybe I _like_ stabbing it." *STAB!* "Why the hell do you care, tomb keeper?!"

"Well, we _are_ supposed to be baby-sitting you while Ryou's out- remember?"

"I don't need a Ra-damned 'baby-sitting!'"

Malik Ishtar frowned. Normally, he'd have to agree with the ill-tempered thief. But Bakura had been acting like more of an *ss than usual lately, and it wasn't just he and Marik who'd noticed. Even Ryou was concerned. The tenderhearted hikari had openly admitted so on the phone yesterday.

 _'Malik? I know this is a big favor to ask, but would it be possible for you and Marik to keep Bakura company tomorrow night? I'm going to the movies, and he's been acting a bit odd... I'm not sure about leaving him on his own.'_

The youngest Ishtar sighed. He had a pretty good idea why the former spirit was so irritated. Ever since their return to the 'mortal realm,' the three yami's had remained close by their hikari's sides. At first it seemed natural- they were, after all, some of the only modern people who even knew of their existence. But over time, the pairs began to connect in a more... personal ways. Soon it wasn't just sentimental and sympathetic feelings keeping them together.

But while the Pharaoh and Marik had gradually revealed their feelings towards their lights, the stubborn 'Thief King' had not. Rather, the white-haired fool seemed to prefer brooding and occasionally complaining to the 'tomb keeper and his foolish pet' about his 'oblivious hikari.'

This was normally a minor annoyance, if anything- Bakura liked to voice his complaints on everything, so Malik and Marik weren't too surprised by the clueless objections.

But then Ryou had met Hiroshi Kanabe.

Another junior at Domino High, Hiroshi had recently transferred after his father's job moved from Tokyo to Domino. He was a fairly attractive teen, with an average skin color and deep, sapphire-toned hair. His pleasant smile and easy-going personality quickly made him popular in all of his classes. Neither Malik nor his yami were very intrigued by the new boy (and heaven knows Bakura didn't care). But it seemed like 'Hiro' (as he asked Ryou to call him) had become very fond of the white-haired hikari.

Two weeks ago, Ryou had unexpectedly announced that he was going to a movie screening with 'Hiro'. And now it seemed like they were enjoying each other's company at least twice a week.

Leaving Malik and Marik to look after an exceptionally irate tomb robber.

The blonde let out an audible sigh, but just watched as the white-haired fool stood up. Bakura disposed of his leftovers (mainly vegetables) and left the plate and silverware in the sink.

But before the Egyptian trio could move to another room, there was a loud noise from the street- the metallic sound of a car door being closed.

"Thanks again, Hiro!"

There was a sound of someone yelling a random reply, and a car's tires turning against the pavement. Moments later, a light-skinned teen with cocoa-warm eyes came through the door. A large smile was etched across his soft face.

"I'm home!" Ryou Bakura came traipsing into the kitchen, clearly in a very pleasant mood. "Malik, Marik; I brought you some Milk Duds!"

The two golden-haired teens nearly plowed into the pale boy as they reached for the boxes of sugary sweets. Ishizu had all but forbidden any candy in their household; mainly due to the 'rock candy' incident.

"And Bakura, I brought you some of that spicy jerky you like- they had some small bags at the- the... theater..." Ryou's voice trailed off as his yami wordlessly took the sealed bag and headed up the stairs.

Ryou's doe-like eyes blinked in raw confusion. Something was bothering his yami; but no matter what he said or did, the former spirit refused to admit anything to his 'landlord.' Heck, lately Bakura was barely even talking to him at all; a very painful shift that worried the teen.

This concern didn't escape Malik's detection, and the Egyptian hikari quickly swallowed a handful of chocolaty morsels before breaking the silence.

"So, what movie did you end up seeing?"

Ryou's gaze was still locked on the upstairs landing as he replied. "Oh, um, 'Die, Cheerleader, Die: Part 2.'"

Malik raised a golden eyebrow. "You've been going out a lot, haven't you?"

Ryou finally turned back to his blonde friends. His expression lifted slightly, and he shrugged. "Well, it IS near Halloween, so there's a lot of horror films playing- and it's not quite finals yet, so we have more free time."

"So, how was your date?" Marik bluntly asked, his entire mouth already stained with caramel and chocolate.

"Eh?" Ryou tilted his head in confusion. "My... 'date?' Marik, Hiro and I aren't 'dating'- he's not even gay."

The two blondes blinked in almost perfect synchrony. Marik's face twisted in puzzlement, while Malik looked completely dumbfounded. "But- you went to the movies with him several times this month! _Only_ with him!"

Ryou gave a soft grin and nodded. "Yep! I overheard Hiro talking at school how he loves horror films, but his girlfriend hates them." Neither Marik nor the hikari duo noticed the sudden footfalls re-appearing on the upper landing. "And one day, on a whim, I asked if he wanted to see 'Deathmaker 8' with me- and it turns out his uncle is friends with the producer! So we got free tickets to the first showing!"

Two pairs of lavender eyes blinked as the pale hikari elaborated. "In fact, Hiro said he was really glad to have someone to go with- he gets free tickets all the time, and he says he feels 'stupid' just sitting in a theater alone. Not to mention the snacks are a _huge_ rip-off if you don't buy a larger size and share with someone." Ryou explained sagely.

The ancient King of Thieves had quietly made his way back down the stairs to listen in at the kitchen entryway. He hung back, waiting as Malik began talking animatedly.

"You're joking, right? All the girls (and half the guys) in school think he's gorgeous- and you're telling me that everything's just been a series of 'friendly outings?'"

Bakura listened for the smaller boy's response with the intensity of a starving hawk.

Ryou only laughed. "Malik, you're much too suspicious! This really _was_ just a friendly outing. Like I said, Hiro loves horror movies almost as much as I do, but his girlfriend hates them. She won't watch them at all, but he still likes to catch the new releases." The light-haired boy chuckled. "Good grief, Malik; just because a gay guy hangs out with another guy doesn't make them a couple!"

Bakura felt his chest pounding so hard that it nearly hurt.

A few moments later, Malik's cell phone rang, and he explained that Ishizu was expecting him and Marik home soon. Ryou waved them off, mouthing a silent 'thank you' to the shorter blonde, and shut the door.

Meanwhile, a thin figure had silently made his way into the room, and was waiting in the shadows.

"Ryou."

"Gaah!" The poor hikari jumped and turned to face his other half. "Bakura! I thought you weren't going to do that anymore!"

The darker man grinned. "Can I help it if I'm a scary guy?"

The hikari gave a faint groan- it was a running joke between the two that Ryou was easily startled.

"Hn- Ryou."

"Hmm?" The boy watched the former spirit's face as he spoke.

"Next time you want to see a horror film... I wouldn't mind going with you."

The hikari gave a sad smile and shook his head. "Thank you, but you don't have to spend time with me if you don't want to."

"I do."

Ryou felt something strange run over his body- like an invisible pulse of electricity. "Really? I mean, I thought you hated going to movies."

The former thief snorted. "If those two bloody imbeciles are joining us, yes. But seeing as how they've recently been banned..."

The hikari flinched as the memories of that fateful night crept into his head. "Ah. I forgot about that."

"I'm _still_ trying to forget- and I still smell that fake butter-cr*p whenever I wash behind my ears."

Ryou couldn't help but snicker lightly at the thought. "Oh yes," the boy's face suddenly turned unusually coy, "...although, I don't really smell the butter anymore." He suddenly leaned towards the surprised yami.

"Eh?" Bakura froze as his lighter half sidled up to his face.

"Hmm... nope. Still don't smell it." The teen took another bold step forwards, the Ancient Egyptian soon catching on.

"Really? Hmm, try getting closer."

Ryou felt himself flush when he saw the wicked grin adorning the thief's face. "Ok."

Two pairs of pale arms wrapped around one another, and the light-haired duo embraced.

"You know, I remember you complaining that you got some in your mouth..." The thief mischievously teased.

Ryou knew his skin must be the color of his yami's crimson eyes, but he shyly tilted his head and guided his lips to his darker half's. He hummed happily as he felt the taller duelist eagerly respond.

They stood in silence for several moments, each enraptured in the other's warmth and comfort.

But of course, the enchanting moment was broken when the thief slyly remarked, "You know, I remember you also got some butter down your shirt..."

Leading to a playful series of taunts in which Ryou promised to do the laundry later, while Bakura insisted that wasn't what he meant.


	5. The Fox and the Rabbit- Tendershipping

"Once upon a time, there was a silver fox. His fur was white but coarse, and his eyes were small and dark. He was a selfish creature, and he enjoyed tricking the other forest animals. He often stole from them and scared them.

But one day, the fox was out walking when the ground suddenly swallowed him up. The fox was caught in a hunter's pit. He had fallen into a deep hole and couldn't get out.

The Fox was really scared- he knew if he didn't escape he would die of thirst, and he didn't want to die like that. But who would help a sly, thieving fox?

Everyone who passed by the fox ignored him or even teased him. And the Fox was afraid to yell out, for he might attract an Eagle. Eagles will eat a fox, especially if it's trapped. So he stayed silent and waited miserably.

The Fox had almost given up hope when he heard another creature nearby. It was a handsome young rabbit, setting up a new burrow. His eyes were a soft hickory, and his lustrous fur was fluffier and whiter than the fox's own."

 _'A rabbit!'_ The Fox thought eagerly to himself. _'Rabbits are easy to trick- I will have no problem getting out of this hole now.'_

'Little rabbit!' The Fox cried out. 'Can you hear me?'

'Yes, I can hear you! Where are you- oh!' The rabbit let out a sharp squeak when he saw who was caught in the trap. 'Oh, you're a fox!'

The Fox bit his tongue and spoke in a simpering tone. 'Indeed, and I am in a most terrible trouble. If I cannot escape this hunter's pit I shall surely die.' The Fox put on a pleading look. 'Help me, and I will reward you.'

But the rabbit was not a fool. He thought long and hard and came up with a solution.

'I will help you, Mr. Fox; if you promise me one thing.'

The Fox nearly laughed- since when had he ever kept a promise?- but kept a stone face. 'I'm listening.'

'If you escape that pit, you must not eat anything but fish and frogs for the rest of your days.' The little rabbit spoke firmly. 'Many of my neighbors are mice and rabbits and squirrels- if I help you and you ate one of them; I would never forgive myself.'

And the Fox agreed; however, as soon as the rabbit pushed a log into the hole for the fox to climb, the fox sprang into action and chased after him.

But the rabbit was smarter than the fox, and he ran into his burrow. Inside, there were countless tunnels for the rabbit to elude the fox. Some tunnels even had traps in them, and the stupid fox would occasionally come out covered in honey or nettles.

And so it became a game for them- the rabbit outwitting the fox every day. And over time they realized they were both happy, just chasing and teasing each other.

But sometimes the little rabbit seemed lonely.

One day, the fox asked the rabbit why he didn't have a mate. And the rabbit replied sadly, 'I am a forest rabbit, yet my fur is whiter than the coats of many mountain rabbits. The other forest rabbits all shun me or laugh at me. A few call me 'ugly'. Some of them are even afraid. They say that I must be a ghost or bad luck.'

And the fox only snorted, and told the little rabbit that he was too kind to be a ghost or bad omen.

But the fox secretly thought the rabbit was beautiful- yet he didn't say anything, because the fox thought the kindly rabbit would never want a scruffy, old fox like him."

" _HEY!"_

"Quiet! I'm telling the story!"

"Bakura, let Malik finish the story first, ok?"

"Hnh."

"Anyway, where was I... ah- and so one day the rabbit got caught in a hunter's snare. Terrified, he called out for help, and the fox came running. The fox was a crafty creature, and he was able to dig up the sharp stick anchoring the snare to the ground. This caused the snare to loosen, and the rabbit quickly pulled his paw from the trap. The little rabbit was free, but confused. He asked the fox why the fox didn't eat him when he finally had him trapped.

And the fox replied, 'I want to chase you forever. I will keep my promise, but only if you stay by my side.'

The white rabbit's fur nearly turned pink, and he shyly agreed to the fox's proposal. And they happily lived together for the rest of their days!"

"Tch- that was the dumbest story I've ever heard! Why the hell was the fox so damn stupid?!"

Ryou gave the former spirit a quizzical look. "Bakura, why do you care? It's just a fairy tale, right?"

The thief grumbled to himself and marched out of the room, leaving an amused Ryou to talk to Malik.

"I'm glad you two were able to stop by today- I'd forgotten what it's like to have a child around the house."

The blonde nodded and grinned. "Baby-sitting for Ishizu is a lot more fun than I thought- right, little Amin?"

The dark-haired baby cooed up at his uncle.


	6. Cheaters and Friends, Part 1- Deathshipp

I'd originally planned to make this a fully-fledged fic, but in the end I just didn't like the pairing enough. (I mean, 'Deathshipping?' I don't even get the name...?) There's also some minor adult references, but I think it's still around 'T' level rating-wise. So please enjoy this two-part drabble!

PART I-

'I still can't believe it...'

The throbbing in his head was nothing compared to the freshly-dealt pain searing through his heart.

'What can I possibly say? Will he try to hurt one- or even, _both_ of them?'

Ryou Bakura's gentle, doe-brown eyes closed as he sifted through his disturbing thoughts.

'At the very least, I hope he believes me...'

A thousand conflicting ideas and emotions were clashing within his mind. He wasn't sure if he would ever feel secure again.

Far too soon, he was standing on the doorstop of the Ishtar home. With a deep sigh, the slender duelist raised his hand and knocked on the door.

Almost instantly, the door flew open, revealing a very large teen with startling, violet eyes and bright, golden hair. There was only a moment's pause before Ryou felt himself being squished in one of the yami's infamous hugs.

"Hello, Ryou-hikari! How are you?"

"Erk! Erm, I'm... not so good, actually." Marik let go and stared at Ryou's conflicted expression.

The pale teen sighed. The walk over here had gone so slowly... yet he still hadn't figured out what he should say. He lingered awkwardly over the threshold before speaking. "Um, Marik? Do- do you know where Malik is right now?"

The large blonde nodded. "Malik-hikari is with his teacher-ing."

 _'Tutoring.'_ Ryou mentally corrected his friend. "Um, right... do you think I could speak with Ishizu? I have to ask her something..."

Marik turned his head and promptly bellowed: _**"Ishizuuuuu!"**_

Ryou winced- were those pictures on the wall crooked before?- and listened for the sound of light footfalls on the stairs.

"Why, hello, Ryou. It is very nice to see you."

The pale teen gave a faint smile- the exotic clairvoyant was as calm and polite as always.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Ishizu. It's nice to see you as well. I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to ask you something- does Malik have a tutoring lesson today?"

She seemed surprised by the question, but just shook her head. "My brother does not have tutoring on Tuesdays or Thursdays- or the weekends."

Marik looked befuddled, but unconcerned.

Ryou felt his stomach lurch. It appeared that the dark-skinned yami was entirely clueless... not that Ryou hadn't been the same himself, an hour earlier.

The somber hikari gave a brief bow. "Then, may I come in? I would like to speak with Marik- um, alone; if possible."

The gracious seer nodded her head. "Certainly." She hid her curiosity well, and walked back up the stairs, only stating: "Odion is out right now. If you should need anything, simply let me know."

"Thank you, Ishizu."

The foreign woman slipped back into her home office, leaving Ryou alone with her brother's yami. The pale teen felt his voice falter as he tried to talk. "Marik... I... I really need to talk to you in private. Can we go up to your room?"

The confused yami nodded. "Yes, Ryou-hikari- what is the problem?"

The troubled hikari held back a sigh. "I'll tell you when we're in your room."

The two duelists made their way to the farthest bedroom. Ryou paused as Marik swung the door open.

He hadn't been in Malik's room since the three yami's had returned- it seemed cruel to make Ishizu handle _another_ (half) crazy pair of duelists when she already had to control her brother and his semi-psychotic alter-ego. The two boys stepped through the frame into a rather nice bedroom. Ryou looked around, and promptly felt his heartstrings twinge in realization.

The entire room had clearly been re-designed for both Marik and Malik... there were two chairs, two closets (although Malik's clothes probably took up most of both), and even two separate Duel Monsters decks.

Ryou struggled not to tear up as he braced himself. He knew he was about to take away his dark friend's deepest happiness.

"Marik, do you mind if I take a chair?"

The Egyptian duelist looked upset. "Ryou-hikari is stealing like Baka-thief?"

Ryou nearly facepalmed- it sometimes slipped his mind that Marik had a very weak grasp of the Japanese language. The gods had returned the yami's over a year ago; however, their darkest parts had not been brought back. And unfortunately, Marik had been made mainly from the darkness- so needless to say, he lost a _lot_.

"Erm, no, Marik- it's a common phrase- you know, like when they say 'it's raining cats and dogs' when it's really only raining very hard?"

The former villain just blinked, and Ryou gave it up as an unnecessary explanation. Instead, he decided to explain what he'd experienced that day.

"So... I, um, went to school this morning- at my university? Bakura was still asleep when I left, so I locked the door on my way out."

Marik watched attentively as the fair hikari spoke.

"Everything was fine, at first... but then my second class was canceled when there was a glitch in the fire alarm system. They couldn't stop the alarm from blaring, so the university closed early." Ryou swallowed slightly. "I had planned on going shopping, but I decided to stop at home first to see if Bakura wanted to go with. But when I came home, I found the front door was unlocked..." Ryou's eyes closed as he felt himself halt. He really had no idea how to phrase the rest of the sordid story. "Marik... Malik wasn't at his tutor's house today. He was in mine."

Two violet eyes widened in shock. "Malik-honey broke in?!"

"Um, no; that's the problem. He was invited in- by Bakura." Ryou looked away, his face developing a slightly green tinge. "And they were, um... fornicating in the living room."

Marik simply blinked.

Ryou's face was now an unhealthy shade of red. "Um, I caught them... having sex... on my couch."

" _What?"_

"They... they've been cheating on the both of us. For a while, now... given what I overheard."

Marik could only stare at the despondent hikari. His mind was simply overloaded- he couldn't believe that his beloved light would do something so horrible. But then, Ryou-hikari hated to lie... and he looked really, really hurt.

Marik's voice was unusually hesitant as he spoke. "Ryou-hikari is sure that he saw... Malik-honey and Bakura-baka...?"

The thin hikari nodded sadly. "I saw. I never thought..." His eyes began watering again, and he bit his bottom lip. He was determined not to cry anymore- not after all the crying he'd already-

The door to the room gave a creak as it was opened by a rather breathless tomb keeper.

"Ryou!" Malik looked shocked to see the fellow hikari sitting in his room. "I, er, wanted to clear some things up."

The white-haired teen stood up and faced the adulterer. His normally soft eyes seemed to burn like dying coals. He looked ready to bury the hatchet- right in the middle of Malik's scarred back.

Ryou spoke in a sharp tone. "Oh, _p_ _lease_ , Malik- I'm not a grade-schooler. I'm already perfectly aware of what's going on." Ryou felt his mind reluctantly rewind back to the events that he'd witnessed an hour earlier...

 _Having his classes canceled was a bit of a pain- Ryou knew the next lessons would all be rushed. But at least it gave him a chance to take Bakura shopping during the middle of the day. Ryou's devious yami was much easier to handle when the mall was less crowded. Fewer marks to pickpocket, for one thing._

 _'Hmm?' Ryou stopped- why was the front door open? His yami used to be the King of Thieves, and he was usually very security-savvy... it wasn't like him at all..._

 _'What's going on?' Nervous, the pale student stepped cautiously over the wooden threshold. He was halfway down the entryway when he paused. Ryou thought he heard two voices- was one of those Bakura? It sounded like it... but who else was over at this hour?_

 _The fair teen had just reached the living room, and he opened his mouth to call out a greeting. But the sounds started up again, and the tones of the voices stopped him in his tracks. The lewd noises and vulgar comments made it very clear what was going on- and who was involved._

 _The pale boy felt sickened when he saw the top of the sofa back- there were various items of clothing strewn over the top- including a cropped, purple shirt._

 _Ryou was nauseated, but he drew himself up to his full height and strode over to the back of the couch. He took a deep breath and promptly shouted right above the copulating cheaters: **"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"**_

 _Had it not been such a loathsome situation, Ryou would have laughed at how comically the two liars yelped and fell off the furniture._

" _Ryou!" The floored duelists were covered in sweat, and looked rather afraid._

 _The furious teen didn't give them a chance to say anything further. **"You have five minutes before I call the police.** **GO** **."**_

 _He pulled out his cell phone and set the alarm timer to 5 minutes. Ryou then gave them both a vicious glare as he strode into the kitchen. He pointedly slammed the door closed behind him._

 _He didn't want to look at either one of them._

 _Ryou listened as he heard the other two shouting and grabbing stuff- both seemed to realize that the 'shy' boy was seriously, and quite thoroughly, pissed._

 _Ryou wanted to kick them out right away, but his damned yami would only complain that he had some stuff in Ryou's house. He also knew the 5-minutes was a nasty necessity. Bakura knew what things were 'his,' but Malik probably didn't. But the hurt hikari didn't care- hell, the thieving b*stards could take the kitchen sink, just so long as they got out._

 _Ryou's phone alarm started beeping, and he marched staunchly into the living room._

 _Bakura was currently shoving everything he could into a small suitcase; while Malik was already trying to close the zipper on an over-stuffed gym bag._

" _ **Time's up.** " Ryou held up his beeping phone._

 _Bakura glanced nervously at the furious teen. "Ryou..."_

 _But the younger teen hit the 'end alarm' button and began dialing the local police station (he knew that 9-1-1 wasn't meant for this type of problem; a fact he'd learned soon after his yami returned)._

 _The two fornicators looked nervously at each other, but they heard the number tones being pressed._

 _Apparently the shorter hikari wasn't bluffing. And they also knew they couldn't risk getting the police involved (Bakura had already racked up an impressive number of offenses; and though Malik's record was much shorter, he had a furious sister to face afterwards)._

 _The immoral pair quickly left through the front door without another word._

 _The pale hikari hit the 'end call' button just before it could start ringing. And then he finally let himself lose it._

 _He fell to the floor; his knees bending so his legs stuck out on either side of his torso. He began sobbing, letting his tears fall freely as he wrapped his arms around himself._

 _'Why...'_

Ryou was jolted back to the present by a tremulous voice.

"Hikari-love... is it true?" Marik's eyes were wide with pain as he begged for an answer.

The other Egyptian looked away uncomfortably, silently admitting his guilt.

Marik felt his whole body go numb. His precious hikari; his creator, his lover... tears began falling from amethyst eyes. It was a betrayal by his personal god; the one person he would _literally_ kill for... His treasured light had just torn out his heart.

There was a sudden knock on the door, quickly followed by someone opening it.

"Yadonushi, if I-"

Ryou felt his stomach drop. 'Oh... _bollocks_ _._ '

Marik only needed to see the palest yami for a tenth of a second before he switched into a homicidal rage. He began bellowing vicious threats (in what Ryou could only guess was an Egyptian dialect) before he madly rushed the Thief King.

Bakura was caught off-guard by the assault, and Marik managed to get in several good punches before slamming the traitor against the wall. The ancient tomb robber spluttered and gasped as he found himself being lifted into the air by two powerful arms. Bakura couldn't breathe- one dark hand was squeezing his throat- while the other was searching for something to stab through his eye socket.

The smaller blonde was trying (unsuccessfully) to pull his darker half off the other yami.

" _ **MARIK!**_ _"_ Thankfully, Ishizu had heard the yelling, and she had contacted Odion before interrupting. The two siblings rushed in, quickly separating the brawlers.

Ryou tugged anxiously on the dark yami's arm. "Marik, we need to leave."

Tears were streaming down his dark face. _"NO!_ I will not leave until Baka-thief is _ **dead!**_ _"_

Neither Odion nor Ishizu were very fond of Marik to begin with (possibly due to the way he murdered their father and tortured their little brother). But this crazed assault was the last straw.

Marik quickly found himself thrown out on the street. A few of his meager possessions had been tossed out with him. Stunned, he sat on the concrete curb, his mind throbbing with bitter disbelief.

Homeless, alone, wounded... he let his head hang as he broke down. His long, blonde hair fell haphazardly over his watering eyes. His shoulders were trembling and every so often he faintly whispered words in another language.

The yami was still lost in his pain, when he heard a soft voice calling from in front of him.

"Marik?"

"Hnh?" The broken-hearted Egyptian tried to clear his blurry vision. He soon saw a small, pale hand reaching out to him.

Ryou looked just as sad as he did, but he gave Marik a bittersweet smile. "You know you can't just sit in the street like this- you could get hurt."

The bronzed duelist closed his eyes and shook his head. "...Marik doesn't care." His voice was choked and tired.

The pale hikari's eyes reflected Marik's pain. "Well, I do. Now come on; let's get going." Ryou gently took hold of one of the tomb keeper's solid hands.

Marik allowed the pale hikari to pull him upwards, but he didn't move any farther.

"Go where? Marik-yami has no place."

Ryou gave the tall blonde a kindly look. "Marik, I've told you several times before: you're my friend. You know you're always welcome in my house."

Marik didn't answer, but numbly followed the small hikari as he was led towards his home.

That evening, the two victims found themselves sitting quietly in the Bakura household's kitchen. Ryou made them each a quick dinner, but neither duelist felt very hungry. They soon placed the food in the fridge, and sat at the table in miserable silence.

Ryou sniffled occasionally, but he mainly stayed in the kitchen for Marik's sake. He had already done a good deal of crying earlier that day, and he was already starting to accept some of this awful reality.

Neither felt completely 'whole' without their other half; true, but for Marik... it was far worse. His hikari- had _made_ him; had given him his entire existence. To lose that guidance... it was inconceivable. That fragile thread that connected their two souls, and gave them purpose and drive... had suddenly been severed without any warning.

Ryou slowly stood up. "I'm going to head to bed soon- do you need anything before I turn in?"

The lovelorn yami just shook his head in a silent 'no.' Ryou felt his stomach twist as he tried to think of something to say.

"I- I will head to bed soon as well." The normally exuberant blonde sounded exhausted. "Can... I have someplace to sleep?"

"Of course, Marik." Ryou gently touched his friend's shoulder before turning towards the stairs. "I'll set up the guest bedroom for you."

"Thanks you."

The part-homeowner sighed as he made sure the guest bedroom was ready for the heartsick visitor. A cup of water on the nightstand, an extra towel in the upstairs bathroom, and fresh bedsheets seemed sufficient. But Ryou had forgotten just how much the other duelist had changed when he had his evil side removed from him...

As Marik slid under the covers, the still-dressed blonde drearily mumbled, "Good nights, Ryou."

"Goodnight, Marik." There was a soft *click* as the hikari switched off the lights and made to head to his own room.

There was a sudden cry, and Ryou jumped. He quickly flipped the lights back on.

"Marik?! What's wrong?!"

"Darkness... no darkness... darkness swallows all..." He was breathing rather heavily. "Need night-lamp."

"Night-lamp?" Ryou tilted his head. "Oh! You mean a 'night-light!' Um, right- I think I may have an old one somewhere in the bathroom... let me check."

Mercifully, there was a night-light hidden deep in one of the bathroom cupboards. It was shaped like a yellow star. It was very old (likely from Ryou's childhood) but still worked. Ryou quickly found a wall outlet in the guest room and plugged it in. The little star flickered to life, giving off a small but warm glow.

"It seems to be working fine- is that alright?"

Marik nodded in tired appreciation before muttering, "G'night, Ryou." His eyes closed, and soon Marik's sound-barrier breaking snores filled the room. Ryou couldn't resist smiling sadly at the bereft yami.

"Good night, Marik. Tomorrow will be better; I promise."


	7. Cheaters and Friends, Part 2- Deathshipp

PART II:

Several weeks had passed, and Marik was starting to view things in a new way. He felt more like his own person, rather than a tag-along.

With Malik-hon- no, Malik; Marik had always been the underling. Malik knew more about the modern world, and was far more confident in his ability to glide through it.

When the gods had brought the yami's back, Marik was the one who was most affected. Having been created by a child, and filled with hate and rage, the Egyptian deities decreed that he could not come back as he had been before. Instead, the gods had re-sculpted his psyche; carefully re-molding his mindset into something (closer to) normal.

However, there were consequences to this meddling. His knowledge of the modern world and languages had been affected, and he still had trouble speaking Japanese.

And Malik never bothered to 'educate' his other half. He just assumed that whatever he did was enough for his yami's education. But Ryou wasn't like that. He wasn't a selfish, unchecked 'prima donna'.

Marik still had a lot to learn about the modern world. But whenever Malik knew something that Marik didn't, the hikari would briefly explain and then rush off. But when Marik asked Ryou a question, Ryou would _show_ him.

When he asked about the bus stop sign, Ryou bought a ticket the next day and took him on a private 'tour' of Domino. When Marik asked about using the radio, Ryou showed him and then put sticky notes on the dials (an 'ear' meant the volume control, a 'music note' meant the type of music station, etc.) so Marik wouldn't forget. Ryou still wouldn't let Marik work the stove or the microwave, but he had (very reluctantly) shown Marik how to use the toaster.

Coincidentally, he was soon also able to teach Marik how to use the fire extinguisher.

Ryou wasn't pushy, or loud, or brash. Honestly, Marik found him a little boring at times (Malik never actually _wanted_ to do his home-works) but Ryou found different ways to keep the tanned yami busy. And not just the usual TV or radio- nope, Ryou bought him inexpensive art kits (such as balsa wood airplanes and paint-by-numbers sets), borrowed assorted comic books for him to read (usually from Yugi or Honda- _anyone_ butJounouchi), and rented different films (often horror films or documentaries, which Marik and Ryou both enjoyed). Sometimes Ryou even got Yami to drop by. Although they would never be 'best friends,' the former Pharaoh and the tomb keeper did have a lot in common- language, culture, make-up... and they were usually able to strike up a few short, civil conversations.

Yami still wouldn't let Yugi come over with him; the overprotective ex-spirit was still very fond of his hikari. Ryou suspected there was more to it than 'friendly sheltering,' but didn't want to pry.

In general, the two roommates were quite quiet when it came to their duplicitous 'other halves,' opting to not even give them the dignity of their ire. But Ryou was furious when he realized that Malik had never bothered trying to teach Marik proper Japanese. He could certainly understand why Ishizu and Odion hadn't hired a tutor- aside from the monetary costs, there was also the challenge of finding an Arabic-fluent Japanese teacher who wouldn't be terrified by the blonde.

But _Malik_ certainly could have instructed his yami; and yet he'd never tried to do anything to help Marik's speech. The white-haired hikari felt furious every time he thought about this. So Ryou decided to see what Marik could do- he borrowed plenty of text and workbooks from the local library, and offered to go over them with Marik every evening. At first Marik was a little reluctant (this 'language' stuff sounded suspiciously like 'homeworks') but he agreed to try it.

Not surprisingly, the cunning yami took to the lessons like a fish to the Nile. Over the course of several weeks, Ryou guided Marik through the fundamentals of the Japanese tongue. His speech still wasn't perfect, but he had a greater understanding of plurals and tenses. He also managed to lose a bit of his accent, which had made it very hard for some of Domino's shopkeepers to understand his questions on finding odd things like 'wooden fingers' (hair combs) and 'tan-non-animal pants' (khakis).

Being able to speak more fluently also gave Marik a better sense of self-confidence. This was particularly appreciated, as he had lost quite a bit when he returned. No longer did he have the shadows at his beck and call, nor were most mortals terrified of him; but at least now he didn't need to cling onto Malik for help.

The unusual duo had settled into a comfortable routine, and were starting to enjoy their new life as friendly roommates. But unbeknownst to either of the two duelists, their new arrangement was about to get a harsh check from reality...

It had been four months since the big breakup, and the afternoon skies of Domino city were sunny and pleasant. The front door of the Bakura household slowly opened, revealing a pale hikari. His gentle voice called through the two-story home.

"Marik? I'm back- and I bought something for you."

Ryou smiled to himself- he knew Marik would love the latest surprise he'd gotten him. Marik saw an ad on the television yesterday for 'bubble bath' and was entranced, so Ryou bought him a bottle. It was a little tricky, as most of the products smelled like fruits or candy (strawberry, cotton candy, bubble gum) and he didn't want Marik to drink it.

Ryou sighed in equal parts amusement and irritation. Marik had quite the record of impulsive curiosity. Many subtleties of the modern world still baffled him... and commercial gimmicks were particularly challenging. Having been created by a pre-teenaged tomb dweller, surrounded by nothing but rocks and sand, well; Marik couldn't fathom how something could look and/or smell like delectable food... and yet _not_ be food.

It was also the reason Ryou no longer bought apricot-scented shampoo.

There was a set of unusual sounds coming from the living room. Ryou was confused.

'That'd odd- who is Marik talking to? The television?'

But then Ryou heard a voice he hadn't expected to ever hear in his house again.

"I just missed you- I'm so sorry; I can't even think how wrong I was."

It was Malik.

Malik was sitting on Ryou's couch, practically clinging to Marik.

Ryou's eyes narrowed in ill-concealed disgust. He hadn't spoken to the shorter blonde since that day...

Most of Ryou's friends had taken Ryou's (and, by extension, Marik's) side in the whole ordeal. Malik and Bakura were no longer welcomed by most of the group- only Yugi and Shizuka would even greet them if they crossed paths. Kaiba didn't care, and Mokuba wasn't old enough to get the gist of everything- but all the other duelists were disgusted by the way Ryou (and subsequently, Marik) had been betrayed.

Ryou gave a sharp stage cough and cleared his throat.

" _Eh-hem_."

The darker hikari turned around and faced his former friend. Malik looked horrible- his face was puffy and his eyes were painfully red. His makeup had run in black rivulets down his copper-colored cheeks, evidence that he had just been crying.

Ryou gave a pointed glare, said a very terse, "hello," and walked into the kitchen. His icy demeanor barely masked his inner struggle to start screaming and cursing out the adulterer. The peeved homeowner could hear the platinum-haired philanderer quite clearly through the kitchen door. Apparently, Malik had broken up with Bakura after making a bitter revelation.

"He's been living with Otogi- Ishizu and Odion wouldn't let him in the house. _And_ _then_ _I found out that he and Otogi have been sleeping together!_ "

Malik continued to rant and cry on Marik's shoulder for nearly an hour. Ryou was still furious that the treacherous lech had the audacity to complain about being ' _cheated on_ ' in _**his**_ home. But the soft-spoken hikari decided to ignore the cad and let him finish raving about his (rather karma-tic) situation.

The news about Bakura, however, wasn't that surprising. Ryou had ruminated on their relationship countless times since that awful day, and he concluded that it was a toxic connection right from the get-go.

The annoyed hikari waited for his _former_ friend to wrap everything up. His patience was starting to wear thin, and he stood up to go through the kitchen door. His pale hand wrapped around the cool handle and quietly turned the knob. He was just about to step back into the living room when he heard the three words he never thought Malik would say to his yami.

"Please... come back."

Two hickory-toned eyes widened in disbelief. He waited for another moment as the larger blonde mumbled something unintelligible. Silence soon fell again, and Ryou opened the door before stepping into his living room.

The two blondes were still seated on the same couch, but now Malik was draped over his yami like an overly-tanned animal skin. Repulsed, Ryou held back a noise of disgust as he made his way up towards his bedroom. He really didn't feel like saying anything further to the tomb keeper. Instead, he went to his room and started to mindlessly sort the books on his bookshelf. He could hear the heavy footsteps of the darker duelist as he made his way up the stairs.

"Ryou-hikari?" A deep voice sounded from just outside his door frame.

Ryou turned around and tried to not look like he had been eavesdropping (as though there was any need, what with how _loudly_ Malik had been whining). The polite youth forced himself to respond. "Yes, Marik?"

"Malik-hikari wants me to go back with him... to go back home..."

Although his heart clenched at the word 'home,' Ryou kept his face blank. "Is that what you truly want? You know you're more than welcome to come back here any time, should you like."

Marik blinked in stunned appreciation. He still wasn't used to being treated as a wanted guest. He gave a grateful grin before nodding. "I'm going back to Malik's house- um, thank you for your kind?"

Despite the situation, Ryou allowed himself a soft smile. "Kindness, Marik. When someone is nice, they are 'kind.' But when you are given something nice, that is a 'kindness.'"

"Oh, ok. Thank you for your kindness."

Ryou managed a partially-pleased expression. "You're very welcome- and if you ever need anything, you can always call me, ok?"

"Ok, thank-"

" _ **Maaarik!**_ _Are you coming or what?!_ " Malik's grating voice sounded loudly from the front entryway. Ryou felt his shoulders rising from his overly-tested tolerance. The white-haired teen decided he couldn't stand it a moment longer, and he pointedly turned back to his bookshelf.

"Take care, Marik."

"You too, Ryou-hikari."

The footsteps faded down the hall. Ryou listened as the front door was soon opened and shut. He kept his eyes on the titles in front of him, but for some reason the letters were growing blurry.

'Happy.' Ryou closed his eyes for a moment, ignoring the tears building in his eyes. 'He deserves to be happy. Even if he's only happy with that cheating, scummy b******- he's happy...' Two chestnut-colored orbs blinked at the now illegible words swimming in front of him.

'Happy... he's happy...'

Ryou closed his eyes again as he pictured Marik, finally back with his hikari.

And he cried.

Later that same afternoon, the Domino Mall was as crowded as always. Marik felt himself growing slightly overwhelmed by the masses jostling against his sides.

"Malik-hikari-?" He called out uncertainly. He knew he wasn't supposed to shove strangers away, but he could barely even keep his other half within sight.

Malik continued to run ahead, paying no mind to the troubled yami.

Marik watched his hikari bounce from place to place, commenting on everything; never listening, only talking. The entire trip had been very normal for a day out with Malik.

It felt familiar. It felt typical.

...It felt wrong.

For some reason, the yami couldn't help but comment out loud. "This isn't right."

But Malik didn't hear him. Or, if he did, he just ignored Marik (as he often did). Instead, the former tomb keeper dragged his reluctant yami into yet another clothing store, and began grabbing everything in his size.

As the uncomfortable yami waited in the overly-crowded store, Marik found himself picturing someone very different- a quiet, composed boy with fair hair and pale skin. Their last mall visit together had been during the middle of the week ("when it's less crowded" Ryou had helpfully planned). Marik could still picture the slender guide, walking alongside him with a soft smile. Soft brown eyes, twinkling up at him in amusement as they discussed something new together. Two youths walking at an easy, casual pace; without the constant urgency and turbulence of excessive want.

Marik felt his jaw nearly grow slack with realization. He wasn't expected to always agree with Ryou, or just sit back and act like a shadow. He wasn't a shadow; a 'yami,' to him.

He was _**Marik**_ **.** He had a voice, and a name. He had opinions, and worth. Two lavender orbs narrowed as he realized the elation and freedom he was missing.

Marik frowned and spoke again, more loudly. **"This isn't right."**

"Eh? What do you mean? You don't think this would look good on me?" Malik was holding up a knit lavender hoodie with golden eyelets.

"No, I mean _this_." Marik made a grand gesture with his arms.

"The... the mall?" Malik started to pout. _"_ _F_ _ine;_ we can leave if you want, but I'm going to try these on first," he pointed to a pile of outfits.

Marik felt his frustration building. Ryou rarely had to 'guess' what he was referring to- he almost always understood (although this savvy was probably helped by their many Japanese lessons).

Marik's face turned solemn and he lowered his voice as he spoke directly to the other Egyptian. " _This_. **Us**. It's just... not right, anymore."

Malik's eyes crinkled in suspicion. "What do you mean? You're _mine_ ; I **made** you!

"I'm going back to Ryou's house." The no-longer conflicted yami stated. "I know what's best for me now, and it's _not_ **you**."

He could tell Malik was preparing to make a scene (as he often did when things weren't going his way).

Sure enough, the shorter blonde straightened up before positively _yelling_ across the crowded store: _"_ _I can't believe you would just leave me when I need you the most!"_

Marik paused, glanced back, and then replied firmly in perfect Japanese: "Payback's a b*tch, isn't it?"

Malik's jaw gaped open as he watched his ex-lover walk proudly out of the store, without hesitation or regrets.

Less than an hour later, the liberated yami found himself outside the same front door that had welcomed him in his greatest need.

Marik swallowed, some uncertainty building in his throat. He still had no idea if Ryou saw him as... well, something. He knocked on the closed door, deciding it was more polite than just using his spare key.

"Just a minute!" Ryou's voice echoed down the front hall a few moments before the door opened. "Hmm? Oh, hello Marik!" He immediately noticed the odd look on the yami's face. "What's going on? Is everything alright?"

"No." He looked downwards in uncertainty. "Ryou... I went to the mall with Malik."

Ryou's face turned slightly sour, but he held his tongue. "Shopping?"

"Yes... and it felt... like it always felt."

The pale hikari blinked in confusion. "Is- isn't that good?"

Marik shook his golden head. "No- I don't wanna be that one anymore. I'm not me when I'm with him."

Ryou tilted his head, still not fully understanding. "You're... not 'you?'"

The blonde duelist nodded. "I want to be how I am when I'm with you. I want... to stay with you." The former spirit slowly admitted his deepest aspirations. "You... you don't treat me like a shadow. You treat me like people; like friends." Having admitted his inner uncertainties, the anxious yami opened his arms before asking, "can I... be with you?

Ryou let out a light chuckle as he embraced the nervous yami. "Marik, I told you: you're _always_ welcome here."

Marik's face rested just beneath Ryou's ear, his warm breath faintly ghosting over the pale skin.

Ryou's head was turned, so his face was pressed sideways against Marik's chest. He felt the calming heat, and soft rising and falling of Marik's chest. Was there any greater proof that the bereft Egyptian was a living soul, capable of being hurt and frightened? Eventually, Ryou couldn't take it anymore.

The slender hikari started crying.

Marik panicked. Ryou wasn't _that_ prone to tears- what just happened?!

"Ryou?! Ryou, why are you crying?" He loosened his hold on the other. "Are you hurt?!"

"No," the pale teen sniffled, "I'm just so lost and overwhelmed. I'm very happy that you're happy with me, but I'm also very sad that you can't be with Malik..."

"You're... sad?"

Ryou nodded into the dark fabric. "I know what it's like to lose someone you thought you could depend on; someone you wanted to live for." Two gentle, tawny-brown eyes looked up into a pair of vivid violet orbs. "I don't want you to have to feel that way. That pain..."

"...I don't want you to feel that, either." Marik murmured sadly and he let go of the smaller duelist. "Ryou... you turned me from darkness to alive."

The white-haired boy grinned, not bothering to correct the taller duelist. "I'm so glad..." The shy youth's face was growing flushed- they were still standing quite close to one another, but Ryou didn't want to move. He knew he was probably crossing some line, but at the moment he just couldn't bring himself to care.

But Marik didn't seem like he wanted to move or run away. If anything, Ryou thought he saw the dark duelist leaning in a little closer...

A pair of porcelain hands gently moved their way up, wrapping around the Egyptian's shoulders.

Marik's eyes slowly fell to a half-lidded state, and he let out a faint purr of approval as his own arms moved to embrace the gentle treasure in front of him. "Ryou..."

Two soft, pale lips embraced a richly bronzed pair; and the duo swayed as they melded into the warm blissfulness of each other. All air and sounds between them seemed to vanish. Nothing else seemed to matter; the world was reduced to the shared comfort so badly needed by the two grieving souls.

After finally breaking apart to breathe, it was Ryou's turn to tremulously voice his uncertainties. "Please, stay with me?"

Marik's eyes widened- he had scarcely dared to hope that those four words would ever leave Ryou's lips. Suddenly, his chest felt lighter than he thought possible, and Marik noticed every sweet breath bringing him life.

Ryou felt a golden wave of soft strands flit across his skin as Marik nodded his head. His flushed face was covered by an enormous grin. The bronzed Egyptian whispered sincerely as he knelt for another kiss:

"I will."

(A/N: ~Sorry I couldn't make this a longer story; I just didn't feel enough emotion towards the pairing to push it forward... anyway, hope you enjoyed the two chapters I did get finished!)


	8. Oh, baby!- Puppyshipping

"Jou, this is indefensible. You have _officially_ _lost your mind_."

The lanky blonde tried not to falter as he stared upwards into his boyfriend's serious face. Well, his 'more-serious' face- Seto Kaiba rarely looked gleeful and relaxed.

The light-haired duelist tried to placate the obviously upset CEO. "Awright, I know I made a rash decision..."

"No, a _rash decision_ was when you paid over $100 for that 'rare card' you found online without checking its authenticity first. This is a _**felony**_."

"What?!" The chestnut-eyed teen seemed shocked by the revelation. He glanced downwards at the squirming bundle of blankets in his arms and shook his head. "Nah, that can't be right!"

" _You kidnapped an infant!_ How does this in _any way_ strike you as being less-than-illegal?!"

"I wasn't tryin' to hurt him!" Jou protested. "I was savin' him! I toldja, the dude looked _dead_ and the girl wasn't much better!"

"You called an ambulance, I hope?"

"Yeah, the second I left! But I couldn' just _leave him_ there with a strung-out ma and some dead guy, right?!"

Seto Kaiba groaned and rubbed his temples with one hand. He knew his beau could be _impetuous_ , at best... but this really took the cake. He glanced out the window, noticing that the mansion grounds were currently empty (save for the usual security guards). "Fine. We need to get your story set before the police arrive. I asked for Officer Tanuko, as he's generally discrete." The billionaire glanced back at the other teen and sighed. "So let's see... earlier today you went back to your old neighborhood to 'visit a friend', when you heard some crying from a nearby window. You then entered a crappy apartment- _without permission_ \- and found two junkies with an emaciated child in a ragged old crib."

Jou nodded, the bundle now starting to make faint noises. "Yeah, an' you shoulda _seen_ the joint! I may not always have lived in a mansion, but that place could kill a city health inspector wit' _just one look!_ The wallpaper was all moldy an' peelin'; an' the floor was covered in dirty needles and used-"

Seto held up one palm. "I get the picture, Jou. Just try to keep your statements brief- don't forget, Officer Tanuko will have to write down everything you say."

"Oh, right... well, it was a filthy, disgusting mess that stunk to high Heaven. So I saw the kid, an' I could tell no-one was gonna be able ta take care of him for a long time..."

Seto raised one eyebrow, starting to see some semblance of his boyfriend's disjointed reasoning. "And you assumed he would be in mortal danger if left there." The blonde nodded eagerly as the infant started to softly cry. "I see. While your actions were foolish, they were well-intended. But next time, call the police first- or myself, if you have any other doubts."

"Okay." Jou sighed as he glanced downwards at the swaddled baby. "I think I heard the front door open and close- Roland should be back by now, right?"

Seto nodded, his thoughts racing as he planned his next move. "Yes, I only asked him to pick up a few items. The police can handle the rest."

Jou let out a chuckle as he gently rocked the orphan in his arms. "Aw, you're making a softy outta my guy, little dude! You've got him donating to charity!"

The grim look returned as Seto flatly retorted: "I already donate to several charities- including your misguided internet shopping."

The blonde gave another laugh, when he heard a strange noise. The two heavy doors to Seto Kaiba's home office weren't fully closed, and he could see Mokuba peering in at the trio. Before anyone could say anything, Mokuba let out a strangled gasp and took off running down the hall.

Jou looked bewildered as he glanced at his quieter partner. "Er, what was tha' about?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm going to handle it right now." The taller man started towards the door. "I'll check on Mokuba, while you go downstairs and get the supplies from Roland. He basically helped me raise Mokuba, so he should be able to help you with everything."

"Yes, my captain!" Jou gave a mock salute with one hand before heading towards the main level of the mansion. Seto rolled his eyes before stalking down the hall in the opposite direction.

"Mokuba?"

The door to his little brother's room was only partly open, but when Seto didn't get a response he slowly opened it.

Mokuba was lying on his queen-sized bed, his hair and face hidden beneath one of his luxury pillows- a sure sign that something was wrong. Seto felt a growing apprehension as he approached his distressed sibling.

"Mokuba?" But the covered boy didn't budge. "Mokie? What's wrong?"

It was hard to make out the pre-teen's voice from beneath the silken pillow, but Seto could hear enough.

"It's not fair!" The black-haired boy suddenly sobbed out. His voice sounded plaintive and strained. "You never said you wanted kids, and now you and Jou are adopting _a baby_?! You never even **told** me!"

"Wait, Mokuba-"

"No, it's not fair!" The youth repeated again, his voice cracking slightly. "You both barely hang out with me now- and soon you and Jou will never have any time for me ever again!" He wailed miserably into the mattress.

"Oh, Mokuba..." The older teen sighed as he attempted to figure out how to explain the entire ordeal. "You misunderstood. We're not bringing home a baby- Jou found the child while he was visiting his old home."

"He... he _found_ it?!" Mokuba finally slid his head out from under the pillow so he could stare at his big brother in disbelief. "Seto, people don't just leave babies lying around!"

The CEO struggled to tactfully explain the situation. "Jou's old neighborhood's location isn't exactly the best place in Domino... believe it or not, some people really do things like that- particularly when they're drunk or high."

Mokuba's mouth formed a small 'o' shape as he took in the disturbing information. "Wow... so is the baby homeless?"

"Temporarily. I've asked Officer Tanuko to help find a foster home for the infant- he should be arriving any moment now. In the meantime, Roland offered to fetch some basic supplies to keep him comfortable. He should be downstairs with Jou and the child now."

"Oh..." A look of embarrassment dawned on Mokuba's face as he realized his assumption wasn't the reality. "I-I'm sorry, Seto... I just saw Jou with a baby, and I thought..."

Seto's expression went flat yet again. "Mokuba, Jou is the last person on Earth I would trust with an infant. I love him; but he's entirely too scatterbrained and distracted to care for a baby. I also have no desire to try and rear a screaming little gremlin, with the hope of it somehow turning into something resembling a decent human being."

Mokuba barely hid a grin as he teasingly replied, "I'm gonna tell Jou you said that!"

"Feel free. We've discussed this before, and neither of us wants to adopt- and as you stated before, we really don't 'have the time.'"

"..." The pale tween glanced away guiltily. "I didn't mean it."

"There's no need to apologize- you bring up a good point. I've been busier than ever lately, what with the new duel disk design being so far behind schedule; and you know Jou's still finishing up his online degree." Seto gave his sibling a meaningful glance. "We'll be very busy for a few more weeks; but afterwards, what do think of us all taking a nice, long vacation? You and Jou can decide the destination."

The look of elation on the Capmon champion's face was so exuberant that Seto was hardly surprised by the enthusiastic hug that followed.

"Heck yeah!"

Meanwhile, Officer Tanuko was downstairs, getting Jou's statements. A secondary officer was currently holding the small child, carefully feeding it the bottled formula Roland had bought. Once Jou was finished recounting his tale, Officer Tanuko nodded and his college prepared to place the infant in a car seat.

"Everything you said checks out- we sent over a car twenty minutes ago after a neighbor reported the crying. We don't usually do wellness checks in that area without solid evidence, but the old lady sounded pretty concerned."

"Everything alright?" Seto added as he strolled down the lavish steps of the front hall.

The officer nodded while Jou went over to say 'goodbye' to the baby. "Mr. Katsuya was correct- as far as we can tell, the male O.D.'ed sometime within the last 48 hours; but the female (who we believe may be the mother) is alive and currently at Domino General. She'll be checked into a nearby rehab facility as soon as she's stable." The patrolman glanced around before lowering his voice to a whisper. "We're not exactly supposed to share information on an active case... but I don't think that kid would've made it if it wasn't for Jou's intervening. That was a very lucky coincidence for both the mother _and_ the child."

"Hm..." Seto glanced thoughtfully at the kind-hearted blonde, who was currently making the tiny baby laugh by making silly noises and pulling various faces. "...indeed."

As soon as as everyone was finished with their various well-wishes, the officers took the tiny bundle and made their way back to their squad car. Officer Tanuko had just left when Mokuba finally came down the stairs. His grey eyes watched as the two patrol cars made it down the long driveway and passed through the already-opened gates. "Wow... that was a pretty big deal, huh?"

Jou wiped a single happy tear from his own cheek. "Yeah... I'm glad the little guy's gonna go to a good home. Tanuko said they already got a foster family in mind, so he should be all set."

"So, you're _not_ adopting a baby, then?" Mokuba added hopefully.

Jou gave a wide grin as he shook his head at his unofficial 'little brother'. "Nah, not at all." He gave an overly-dramatic sigh and slumped over on a nearby sofa couch. "Besides, I'm _already_ exhausted, an' I didn't even have the lil' guy for more than three hours!"

Seto had just turned to walk back upstairs when he muttered, "besides, why on Earth would we ever adopt a small child when we've got you?"

The shortest member of the family instantly took offense and loudly called after his sibling: "Set-o! I'm almost a teenager- I'm not a small child anymore!"

"Perhaps," the billionaire smirked while still stalking away, "but I wasn't talking about you."

Realization dawned on the reclining blonde as soon as Mokuba started snickering, leading Jou to loudly yelp out: _"Hey!"_


End file.
